Broken Wings
by Kurrent
Summary: Picks up at the end of "Lost and Delirious." What Paulie and Tori have is so special, can even the events at the end of the movie stop their love? Paulie/Tori, with lots of naughty language because Paulie likes to swear.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** This story is my labor of love for the stunning movie "Lost and Delirious." I've been surprised at the number of people who describe the movie as a sad movie, simply because of what they assume happens after the end of the film. The movie itself is one of the rare films that I think accurately captures what love is about, in all its glory, confusion, pain, anger, and joy. But how we view the ending depends mainly on what we _want_ to see in it. I choose to see more of a happy ending. It's not a neat, tidy happy ending, because that's not what the movie is about. But it's also not necessarily a tragedy, either. If you want to see my interpretation of the ending and what happens afterward, please continue. Oh, but you should be aware that this story is rated M for a reason. Well, a few reasons. Blame Paulie and her dirty mouth. She's using to being blamed for fun stuff.

_Here are my standard disclaimers_: I make no claims on any "Lost and Delirious" trademarks or copyrights and no claims upon the characters of that movie; no infringement is intended. Be forewarned that this story most certainly will contain femslash. If that surprises you, you obviously haven't seen the movie. If love and affection between two consenting young adults of the same sex bothers you, I suggest you turn right around and find something else to read. Keep any flames to yourself and remember that what our world needs now is more love and acceptance, not more hate. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!

**Broken Wings **

by Jo P.

_Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye_

_Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight_

_I know that I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too_

_Either way I found out I'm nothing without you_

_'Cause we belong together now (yeah)_

_Forever united here somehow (yeah)_

_You got a piece of me, and honestly_

_My life would suck without you_

--Kelly Clarkson; "My Life Would Suck Without You"

"PAULIE!!!"

The scream echoed across the grounds of Perkins School, reverberating between the stone buildings that comprised the dormitories and classrooms for the girls' boarding school. As scores of students and faculty members watched from the ground below, a senior named Pauline Oster closed her eyes, lifted her face to the sky and fell forward off the roof of one of the buildings.

Paulie had taken the title of "Paulie the Raptor," and it was no ostentatious claim. Like the fierce hunting bird that perched on her arm as she stood atop the building, she was wild, beautiful and dangerous, wounded but still possessed of a spirit so powerful that nothing could entirely suppress it. However, only one of them had healed enough to fly.

As the horrified audience watched the falcon Paulie had nursed back to health take to the sky and soar away, young Paulie Oster, proud and defiant to the last, plummeted over three stories to what she knew would be her death. Victoria Moller, Paulie's secret lover and roommate, found herself rooted to the ground, unable to run, unable to watch the girl she still loved fall to her death, unable to do anything but think the same phrase over and over in her mind: _This is my fault. This is my fault. This is MY FAULT!_

As the sound of impact broke the grim spell of the falcon's flight upon the crowd, a lone figure raced forward to the spot where Paulie had fallen. Mary Bedford, a freshman who was Paulie's and Tori's roommate and friend, pumped her legs as hard as she could in an attempt to reach her grief-stricken friend's body. Over the last few days, Mary had seen Paulie in tremendous anguish as she tried to regain Tori's love every way she knew how. But what Mary Bedford saw now made her heart skip a beat as she pushed her way through the hedges and shrubs along the building's walls. Placed between the hedges and the stone walls of the building was a gardening cart, loaded with dirt and mulch, and sprawled in the middle of the cart's now-scattered cargo was Paulie.

Mary B. stared at her friend's body, taking in the surreal sight. _Is she dead? Her arm shouldn't bend that way. Oh my God, her leg... Oh, Paulie, you didn't deserve this, not all this pain and suffering, this hell that you've been through these last few days._ Mary Brave gathered her courage and stepped forward, moving her friend's hair out of her face in a gesture that she knew was too little, too late. But as her fingers touched Paulie's face, a soft groan came from beneath that hair, sparking a glimmer of hope inside Mary's heart.

"Paulie?" Mary whispered. "Paulie?" she asked again, her voice a bit louder this time. When she saw her friend's chest rise in a shallow breath, she lifted her hands to her face, covering her mouth as she nearly laughed for the first time in days. "She's alive!" Mary screamed as loud as her voice would go. "But she needs an ambulance!"

As the school's headmistress Fay Vaughn came forward, Mary turned and said, "She landed on a cart full of dirt and mulch. It must have given her enough of a soft landing to save her life. But she's got—" Mary felt her voice fail her as she took another look at her roommate, one of two girls who had taken her in and accepted her not for the timid girl others thought she was, but for the brave young woman she could become. "She's got a really badly broken leg, and maybe a broken arm too," Mary said, as much to herself as to anyone else.

The sound of someone breaking into tears beside her drew Mary's attention away from Paulie's unconscious form. Tori began to climb up onto the cart, only to be stopped by a surprisingly strong grip on her left arm. "Let me go, Mary!" she sobbed, jerking against Mary's grip as she stared into the hard eyes facing her.

Mary continued to hold Tori back until she said, "Are you going to hurt her again, Tori? Because even as strong as she is, her heart can't take any more bullshit from you."

Tears ran down Tori's face and ran into the corners of her mouth. She turned to look at the body of the young woman she loved, the young woman she would always love, and her heart finally shattered like delicate glass hurled against a stone wall. "No," she said through her tears as she shook her head fiercely. "I won't hurt her again, I swear to God."

"Good." Mary released her grip on Tori's arm, and the tall auburn-haired girl clambered into the cart. She knelt in the dirt beside the still figure of her lover and carefully placed her left hand on Paulie's chest, directly over her heart.

"Please, Paulie, please forgive me," Tori whispered, over and over. She was repeating those words when the ambulance arrived, and she continued to whisper them as the paramedics worked on Paulie. She only stopped when Mary had to move her so that Paulie could be secured to a backboard and moved to the ambulance.

"I'm going with her," Tori said as Paulie was gently placed in the back of the ambulance.

"No," said Mary, making Tori turn to look at her. "What makes you think you _deserve_ to ride in that ambulance with her?" she asked, and the venom in her normally quiet voice made Tori instinctively draw back. All this anger had pooled in Mary for days, and now it began to pour forth, growing from a trickle to a rushing current. "She loved you, Tori, and you broke her heart," Mary continued. "You broke her FUCKING HEART!" she said, jabbing Tori in the chest with her index finger, "when all she wanted was for you to love her back like you used to."

Tori nodded as the tears continued to fall. "I know, and that's why I have to be there with her. In case she wakes up. So I can tell her how stupid and childish I was. So I can tell her I was wrong."

Mary held Tori's gaze for long seconds. "Fine," she finally said. "But I don't know if you can ever make it up to her, Tori."

"I have to try," Tori said as she stepped up into the ambulance. "Even if it takes the rest of my life."

On the unnerving ride to St. Joseph Hospital, Tori felt like she was being swept away by her cascading thoughts, surging through her mind like angry river rapids. _How can I go back there now? They're all going to know. The whole school will know by the next day. And my parents, oh God!_

"Tori..." The voice was surprisingly weak, almost pleading in its tone. It was so unlike Paulie's normal voice that hearing it instantly made the thoughts churning inside Tori's head unimportant.

"I'm here, Paulie," Tori said, leaning forward to place a kiss on the cheek of the woman she loved.

At the sound of Tori's voice, Paulie's eyes hesitantly blinked open. It took a few seconds for them to focus on the tall girl with auburn hair, but finally they did. A smile drew across Paulie's face. "I won you..." she whispered before her eyes closed again and unconsciousness claimed her once more.

"What are you talking about?" asked Tori, but no answers were forthcoming. She looked at the paramedic riding with them and frantically asked, "Is she okay?"

The paramedic looked up from the heart monitor she was watching and nodded her head. "She's just sleeping right now. I gave her some morphine for the pain."

Tori wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Okay, thanks," she said, sparing a polite smile for the paramedic. "But don't give her any penicillin, because she's really allergic. She almost died when she was five from a reaction to it."

The paramedic wrote that information down on a chart attached to a clipboard. "Does she have any other allergies or medical conditions that you know about?"

Tori looked back down at Paulie and shuddered at how fragile her best friend looked, lying there strapped to a bright orange backboard, her left arm immobilized in an inflatable cast and lashed down at her side. The right leg of her pants had been cut away, revealing a bloody wound in her lower leg from which the jagged end of a bone could be seen, jutting forth just enough to make Tori's stomach turn. _You have to keep it together, Tori. For Paulie. _

She reached out and gently ran her fingers over Paulie's face, tracing the delicate lines she knew so well. "She doesn't have any other allergies. She sometimes smokes, but it's more like an occasional thing than a habit. She goes a week or two without any and never has any problems. We smoke some pot sometimes, too, but nothing for the last three weeks." She felt a tear trickle down her right cheek as she spoke. "She sometimes has bad dreams, and they won't stop until she gets..." Tori couldn't look at the paramedic, but she forced herself to continue. "Until she gets into bed with me. Then they stop. She sometimes gets stuff in her mind, and nobody can get her to stop until she's done what she wanted."

The voice of the older woman was carefully nuanced as she softly asked, "Did she try to kill herself today?"

Tears poured forth as Tori turned those words over and over in her head. Her mouth wouldn't open, and it was all she could do to breathe as she fumbled for Paulie's hand. Finally she grasped it, being careful not to move or twist her arm, and from that contact she drew enough strength to whisper, "Yes." She suddenly jerked her head up to look into the paramedic's eyes, yelling, "It's all my fault! All of it! She loved me, and I loved her, but I still treated her like trash because I was afraid! I was _AFRAID_! About what the girls at school would say, about what my bratty little sister would do, about my parents going nuts if they found out!"

She leaned her head down onto the cold steel railing of the stretcher, sobbing as the words spilled forth. "She tried to tell me how much she loved me, she really did. She tried to win me back, she recited poetry for me, she declared her love for me in the library in the most insane way, but it was just _her_. It was _so_ her. And you know, she told me she loved me more with just a look than Jake did by fucking me!"

Sobs overcame her for a moment, and it took all her willpower to regain control from her grief. "Paulie wasn't afraid. She was never afraid. Not until I made her face a future without me beside her. Even then she didn't give up. She tried everything to win me back, and I just threw it back in her face. I had been her friend, her support for the last four years, and I just threw her out. I was the one who nearly killed her!" Tori looked up at Paulie's pale face, still and unmoving save for shallow breaths. "It should have been me up on that roof," she said grimly. "Whether it would have been making out with her or jumping with her, I should have been there."

"Hey," said the older woman as she gently laid a hand on Tori's back. "This is not the time for you to tear yourself to pieces. Right now she needs you to be here with her, I think. What's important is that both of you are still alive, and you have another chance."

Tori looked at the woman. She hadn't even registered what she looked like, but now Tori could see that she had kind eyes. "Thank you," she said in a voice just above a whisper. "Thank you for taking care of her. She's the most important thing in my life. I see that now."

"Then remember that when she wakes up," the older woman said.

"I will. I swear." _I hope_.

The next few hours were a blur, filled with faces and images that Tori couldn't keep straight. The whole day had seemingly vanished in her mind, as every attempt to trace back a memory led to the same gut-wrenching sight, a slight figure, face held defiantly to the heavens as she tried to leave behind the sty that her world had become. Finally sleep took her, granting her a rest that was still haunted by the sound of Paulie reciting her favorite verse of poetry, followed by the sound of her small body impacting on the dirt and mulch that cushioned her fall just enough to preserve her life.

"Victoria."

The frail-sounding voice cut through Tori's anguished dreams, bringing her back to alertness. "Uh... Ms. Vaughn?" she asked numbly, looking up at the school's headmistress.

"They're bringing Pauline back from surgery. I thought you'd want to be in the room when she arrived." Though Ms. Vaughn looked like she was about to fall apart any second, her form held a surprising strength of will. "Mary is on her way back up from the cafeteria. She thought you might be hungry."

Tori looked down and realized she still had on her soccer uniform and cleats. "I need to get some clothes sometime tonight."

"Mary already brought you some," Ms. Vaughn said. "Both for you and for Pauline." She stopped outside a room, its cavernous door standing open, revealing its emptiness. "Victoria..." There was a pause, then the headmistress continued. "I know about you and Pauline. That much is obvious. But I have to ask you..."

"She's just a friend," Tori answered. Seeing the confusion on Ms. Vaughn's face, she clarified, "Mary Brave is just a friend to us. An honest, caring friend. But yes, Paulie and I love each other." She felt her body shiver as she spoke those words out loud. All the times she had told Paulie that she loved her, the words had spilled forth without any hesitation or awkwardness. But saying them out loud to someone else... Well, that had proved to be much, much harder.

Ms. Vaughn's face returned to its usual pleasant smile. "Yes, well, I expect there will be some people who won't be quite so happy about that development," she said.

"Understatement of the year," Tori said under her breath. Suddenly she spun to face the older woman. "My parents left, didn't they?"

"Yes," Ms. Vaughn said, her face concerned at what she knew Tori must have been feeling inside, the feeling of being torn between two worlds. She knew something about that herself, after all. She walked over next to her student and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. "Victoria..." She stopped, then said, "Tori. It's not my place to tell you what to do with your life. However, sometimes life forces us to make painful decisions. And sometimes those decisions hurt others badly."

"That's just the problem," Tori said, "No matter what I choose, someone I care about is going to get hurt badly."

There was a long pause before Ms. Vaughn quietly said, "Then in those situations, you simply have to ask yourself which decision you can live with and which one you can't."

Tori looked up and saw Mary leaning against the corner, listening quietly. "Here Tori," Mary said with her unassuming voice as she handed her roommate a box from the cafeteria. "I got you a salad and some fries. I hope that's okay."

Tori gave the freshman a smile. "Yeah, that's fine, Mary. Thanks." She opened the box and began eating the French fries. "You doing okay?" she asked her other roommate.

"That depends," said the small blonde girl. "Um, Ms. Vaughn?" she said hesitantly.

"Yes, Mary?"

"Would you mind to, um, step out please? Just for a minute, so Tori and I can talk privately?" Mary looked as if uttering those words had caused her physical pain, but the headmistress simply smiled and stood.

"I'll be outside. Hopefully Pauline will be back here soon." She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"What's on your mind, Mary B?" Tori asked as she opened the bottled water that Mary had brought to her.

Mary sat down quickly in the seat vacated by Ms. Vaughn, turning it so that she was facing Tori. "Tori, I'm still... adjusting, I guess, to how you and Paulie feel about each other. Or at least I _thought_ you felt about her like she feels about you."

"I do, Mary, I swear it, it's just—"

"No!" Mary said angrily, slashing her hand through the air in front of her. "It's not 'just' anything! She LOVES you, Tori! She loves you so much that when you pushed her away, it _broke_ her inside! And she tried _everything_ to win you back, and you just..." She looked directly into the taller girl's eyes and said flatly, "And you just told her that she wasn't worth it."

"That is _not_ what I did, Mary, I swear!"

"Save it, Tori. That is _exactly_ what you did. You did like everyone else in Paulie's life and just pushed her away, because she wasn't worth it to you."

"Mary, this are my parents we're talking about here! My sister, and my brother! I can't just let them disown me, because I love them too!"

Mary's eyes were normally curious, inquisitive, but now they were nothing short of icy. "At least you have parents," she said coldly. "And a sister, and a brother. What does Paulie have?" When Tori didn't answer, Mary asked again, louder. "What does Paulie have, Tori? WHO does she have?"

"She has me!" Tori cried out as she broke down into tears, burying her face in her hands. "She has me..."

"She _had_ you, until you dropped her for that stupid boy up the hill. Then she had nobody." Mary paused to look out the window. "She had nothing left. Nothing in this world keeping her here."

After long moments of painful sobs, Tori finally spoke with a cracking voice. "I made her jump, didn't I?" she asked softly.

Mary looked down at her roommate bent over in her seat, and she could only imagine the pain and guilt that Tori had to be feeling at that moment. But things could still get worse. There was no guarantee that Paulie would even survive the surgery, much less make a full recovery. "You didn't make her jump, Tori. That was Paulie's decision. But you sure carried her up to the roof."

The sound of the door opening interrupted the painful conversation. Squeaking wheels heralded Paulie's arrival. "Oh, Paulie..." said Tori sadly as she got a good look at the bruised face of her lover. Pink casts enclosed Paulie's left forearm and right lower leg; her head was swollen slightly from the contusions suffered in the fall, and two drains could be seen attached to the bed, one a soft, round bag, the other a large plastic box with bloody fluid in it. Tori turned to look at the nurses who had just brought Paulie into the room. "When will she wake up?" she asked anxiously.

"We don't know," one of the nurses, a younger woman not much older than Paulie and Tori, said gently.

"I mean, like a few hours, maybe? Or are we talking later on tonight?" asked Tori.

The nurse stepped forward and gently took Tori's hand in her own. "No, ma'am, I mean, we don't know _if _she's going to wake up."

As Tori grasped what the nurse was saying, she suddenly felt as if all the strength in her body had abruptly fled. Heavily she fell back into the chair she had been sitting in. _Paulie could still die from this. Because I broke her heart. Because I dumped her for some boy who just wanted a quick fuck in the woods._ Tears stung Tori's eyes, but these tears were different than those she had been crying for the last four hours, bitter and biting as they streamed forth now. _The high point of my relationship with Jake was making a big fool of myself while he felt me up at my brother's birthday party, part of me showing off how straight I was. How goddamn _normal_ I was._ She looked over to Paulie's still face and tried unsuccessfully not to shudder. _But with Paulie there was no high point or low point, because every minute we spent together was as amazing as everything else. Every second was wonderful, fun, exciting, alive. How could I have turned my back on that?_

"Hey," said a weak voice, causing Tori and Mary to both jerk their heads up.

As Tori saw the haunted dark eyes of Paulie looking at her, she shot forward and hugged her one true love, a bit too forcefully.

"Ow, Tori! I think I broke my fucking chest or something, you know?" Paulie said, her typical caustic humor seemingly back in full force.

"You broke more than that," Tori said as she she kissed Paulie carefully on the lips. "You almost died, P."

Paulie glanced away from Tori's red eyes. "Yeah, about that..." She suddenly looked over to Mary. "Did he fly away?" she asked.

It took Mary a few seconds to follow Paulie's dramatic shift in thinking. "Yes," she finally said, blinking in confusion. "He flew away. It was beautiful."

"Paulie, don't try to change the subject," Tori said, her voice laced with irritation. "You tried to fucking kill yourself!"

"Not sure how I screwed up," Paulie said matter-of-factly. "That should have been plenty enough distance to do it."

"Damn it, Paulie, this is not some joke!" said Tori hotly.

Paulie lifted her head up, stopping Tori's next words before they left her mouth. "Do I look like I'm laughing, Tor?" she asked seriously. After holding Tori's gaze for long, awkward seconds she said, "Loving you was never anything but serious for me, Tor. It was the only thing in my whole life I ever took seriously."

Tori ran her fingertips across Paulie's face tenderly, smiling slightly at the look of happiness on her girlfriend's face. "Do you still love me, P?" she asked in a near-whisper, hoping that somehow she still had a chance to make things right.

The expression on Paulie's face was unreadable, then she said, "The fuck kinda question is that? Hell yes, I still love you!" Paulie used her good hand to grab Tori's burgundy soccer jersey and pull her face down until their noses were nearly touching. "When I realized that you really weren't coming back to me, there wasn't one fucking thing on this shithole of a world left that was worth me staying for." She let Tori go, and reflexively the auburn-haired girl sat back up slightly. Paulie turned her head, looking away from Tori and out the window. "I didn't jump to try and scare you into coming back to me, Tori. I jumped because this world that we live in had become too painful, and I couldn't go another day seeing you and knowing that you weren't coming back to me. Not after feeling what we had together, even if you won't admit it."

"You didn't put the gardening cart down there?" Tori asked.

"Is that what I fell on? And it still didn't kill me?"

Tori shook her head, but a different voice spoke up.

"The cart was full of dirt and mulch," Mary said. "It broke your fall enough to save your life."

"Mary Brave!" Paulie said happily. "Knew you'd be here, new girl."

Mary smiled as Tori said, "P, don't call her that. She's not new anymore."

Paulie regarded Mary closely, then she said, "No, she's not. She's bloodied now. She's been there and she hasn't run away screaming like a _little girl_," emphasizing the last two words sarcastically as she looked at the fourteen-year-old who had done a tremendous amount of growing up over the last four months. "Thanks, Bedford. For being there."

"You should know something, Paulie," Mary said, stepping closer to the bed. "Right when all this... stuff... started between the two of you, Tori asked me to do something for her."

"Mary, you don't—"

"She needs to know this, Tori," Mary said quickly. "She does." She looked down at Paulie, who was intently listening. "Tori said that the most important thing that I had to do when... when all this started, was to be there for you. To help take care you, and to help you get through this. She said that you were going to need someone and that she couldn't do it anymore, not after she had hurt you so badly."

As Mary spoke, tears began to form in Paulie's eyes. She looked up at Tori. "You really said that?" Tori nodded. "Even knowing you were going to break my heart, you still tried to have someone be there for me?" Another nod. "That's fucked up, Tor," she said with as wry a grin as she could manage give the swelling around her face.

Now Tori smiled. "That's my P," she said as she leaned down to give Paulie a kiss, only to find herself stopped by Paulie's hand in her way.

"Tor," she said, her voice suddenly different. It was fragile, hesitant, almost childish. "I love you, Victoria. I love you with everything I have. I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you, I'd kill for you... and I'd die for you." Paulie swallowed, and when she spoke again her voice had regained much of its steel. "But I can't do this if you're still going to flip out on me and run off with some asshole boy the next time your bratty little sister pops her nosy fucking head into our room, or the next time your dad looks at me like I just pissed on his shoes." She looked hard into Tori's eyes as she said, "I love you."

"And I love you, P, you know that—"

"Not good enough, Tor. I need to know that you're going to stand with me, that the next time this comes up that you're not going to lie and try to come up with some bullshit excuse to avoid admitting that you're in love with me." She paused before she asked, "Can you do that, Tori? Can you find the courage to admit you're in love with me, to anyone who asks?"

Tori's eyes danced across Paulie's face. She was terrified of what her parents would say, what they'd _do_, what her sister would run and tell all her friends, what would be whispered about them through the entire school, what cruel jokes would be played on them before they finally graduated and left this place... But as her mind raced through all those possible disasters, all she could focus on was how lonely Paulie had looked, standing up there on that roof, calmly accepting death over a life without the woman she loved. And she was ashamed that she was so frightened of her parents that she had rejected Paulie's honest, heartfelt love that she had freely offered to her unconditionally.

_That's what this comes down to_, Tori finally realized. Fear versus love. Which was the more powerful force in her life? _I've spent so long hating my mummy and daddy, but I've been too afraid to say anything to them. I've been too scared to stand up for myself, and they still treat me like shit because of it._

"You deserve more than bitchy comments about your face, which is more beautiful than anything else I have ever seen," Paulie said softly. "You deserve more than just being molded into what your mother wishes she could have been. You deserve more than being taken for granted and just coming back for more."

"I'm scared," Tori said, screwing her eyes shut to try and hold back the tears. "I'm just so scared of what they'll say, what they'll do."

There was a pause before Paulie's voice said, "Tori?" When Tori didn't answer, she tried, "Victoria?" As Tori opened her eyes and let the tears spill forth as she looked into Paulie's loving eyes, Paulie solemnly said, "Stop being scared, Tori. And start being brave."

"But what if they disown me? What if they kick me out, and they say they never want to see me again?"

Paulie thought for a few seconds, then she said, "Well, we can spend what we would've spent on their Christmas presents on ourselves instead."

Tori tried not to laugh, but one still slipped out despite the tears. "You're crazy," she said, but now the frustration was gone from her voice.

"Well, duh," replied Paulie. "I thought you knew that about me a long time ago."

Tori carefully reached down and took Paulie's good right hand as she gathered her thoughts. "Before I ever met you, I was miserable for most of my life. All the attention growing up went to either Tom, because he was the oldest and the boy, or to Ali, because she was the baby. My mummy decided that I was going to be her little perfect society girl, because she said good manners would be the only way I could get a nice husband since I wasn't as pretty as Ali." Paulie ground her teeth at that comment, but she managed to not interrupt what was obviously a painful speech for her girlfriend. "So after I turned ten, I got sent to my first boarding school. It worked out pretty good for them; that way they only had to put up with me for a few weeks during the summer."

When Tori paused, Paulie said, "Tori, you know you're beautiful, don't you? No matter what your bitch of a mom tells you, you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen."

Tori looked at Paulie and said, "You're the only person who's ever told me that and made me believe it, P." As the two girls looked at each other, both pairs of eyes softened for the first time in two weeks, letting the love deep within each of them shine forth. Tori continued, "And I never knew what being happy was until I came here when I was fourteen and met you. Today I had to think about what my life would be like without you, P. Not just play around and try not to think about it like I'd been doing these last few days, but really _think_ about you not being in my life in any way." Tori's voice became nearly a whisper as she said, "And it scared me more than my parents scare me."

Paulie reached up and cupped her hand around Tori's cheek, wiping a tear away with her thumb as Tori continued to speak. "P, I meant it when I said that I would never love anyone like I love you. You make me feel happy, you make me feel safe, you make me feel beautiful. You make me feel alive, when I was dead inside for so long. And I know now that's what I want in life, to be alive. To _live_, not just exist. And if that means I have to live on the street with you instead of just _existing_ in a cold, loveless house with some man who could never replace you, who could never understand me and touch me the way you do..." Tori smiled and removed Paulie's hand from her cheek and kissed the palm. "Then I'd choose to live on the street with you." She leaned down and carefully kissed Paulie, letting the heat and love in their kiss burn away all the fears and insecurities she had held deep inside.

Standing in the hallway next to the door, Mary smiled as a single tear ran down her face. She wiped it away quickly, hoping that no one saw it. She hadn't meant—

Okay, she _had_ meant to eavesdrop. But these were her friends, and they talked about things like that in front of her all the time. In fact, they hadn't even asked her to step outside, she had just done that on her own to give them some privacy. But now for the first time in almost two weeks, Mary felt the pangs of anguish that had grown inside her as she had watched her friends fall apart finally begin to fade away. And she silently resolved that if Tori's little sister Ali ever barged into their room again without knocking, she'd beat the little homophobic brat senseless herself.

**Author's Afterword:** Okay, I've decided. This will be three chapters, because it's too much to fit into a oneshot. I'll start working on the next chapter now, but give me a few days to have the next chapter done, proofed and posted. Working on two stories at once makes for not getting much sleep.

-- Jo --


	2. Chapter 2: Only Love

**Author's Note:** Yay, time for chapter two! Don't worry, Paulie and Tori haven't gone anywhere. Hope everyone's ready, because this one's going to cover some ground.

_Here are my standard disclaimers_: I make no claims on any "Lost and Delirious" trademarks or copyrights and no claims upon the characters of that movie; no infringement is intended. Be forewarned that this story most certainly will contain femslash. If that surprises you, you obviously haven't seen the movie. If love and affection between two consenting young adults of the same sex bothers you, I suggest you turn right around and find something else to read. Keep any flames to yourself and remember that what our world needs now is more love and acceptance, not more hate. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!

**Broken Wings **

by Jo P.

Chapter 2: Only Love

_Only love can set us free_

_Only love can bear the truth_

_Only love can bring us peace_

_Only love can save me and you_

_Only love can purify_

_Only love can conquer fear_

_Only love can testify_

_Only love can make a miracle (of life)_

--Sophie B. Hawkins, "Only Love"

Tori wasn't sure what woke her up. Her back was hurting; apparently she had fallen asleep at her desk, leaning forward with her head resting on the flat surface. Except whatever was under her head wasn't hard. It was soft, and it was warm. She groaned slightly as she lifted her head up, only to feel a warm hand on the back of her head gently run fingers through her long auburn hair. "Paulie?" she mumbled sleepily, blinking her eyes open. _Too much white in here_, she thought. _Where are we?_ Then she saw the large cast on Paulie's right leg, raised up off the bed and plainly in sight. _Oh. The hospital._

She had hoped it had been a bad dream, but apparently not. As she carefully removed Paulie's hand from her hair, Tori sat up, straightening her back with a soft pop as she did so. This morning the bruising on Paulie's face wasn't quite as pronounced, which she took as a good sign. She cautiously looked around the room. No one else was in there with them. Once satisfied, she stood and leaned over Paulie, very gently placing a kiss on her girlfriend's lips. They were a bit dry, but once Tori licked them they moistened up nicely. She smiled and kissed Paulie again, this time feeling her lover start to kiss back.

"Mmmm, I like waking up that way," said Paulie in a whisper.

"Be careful when you start moving around," Tori said. "You've got your right leg in some kind of brace, or cast, or something. And your left arm is in a cast too, so don't knock yourself out with it."

"What, like if I want to scratch my head or something?" asked Paulie, a touch of sass in her voice.

_Another good sign._ "Yeah, something like that."

Paulie grinned as she opened her eyes and finally saw the girl she was completely in love with looking down at her, smiling. "That's what I've got you for, Tor. To scratch my head for me."

Tori ran her fingers through Paulie's hair. "I'll wash your hair for you today, P. That might feel good to you."

Paulie looked around the room. "No, what would feel good is getting the fuck out here and back to our room. Back to our lives before everything got kicked all to hell."

"P, you aren't going to be able to get up those steps to our room. Not for a while." The expression on Paulie's face made Tori think that she might have chosen the wrong words.

"The hell I can't," Paulie said defiantly. "If I have to pull myself up those steps I'm sleeping in my bed tonight." She looked at Tori and grinned a wicked grin. "Or in yours."

Tori gave Paulie a disapproving look. "I have a better idea," she said. "How about _when_ you're ready to get out of here, we move our beds together? That way we'll have a bit more room for you to stretch your leg out for now."

Paulie tried to sit straight up in the bed, but her head swam maddeningly as she did so. She blinked the vertigo away, focusing on Tori's surprised face. "You serious?" she asked excitedly.

Tori looked at the joyous look of her girlfriend's face, and she wondered again how she ever could have been stupid enough to hurt this radiant young woman in front of her. Yes, Paulie was fiery and unpredictable, but she was also fiercely loyal and incredibly romantic. They had made plans for the future over their years at Perkins, had already talked about their lives together after graduation, and then Tori had shallowly thrown that all away simply because she was afraid her little sister Allison was going to run and tell Mummy and Daddy that Tori was sleeping with her roommate. Tori cleared her throat and pushed her fears back down inside her. "Yes," she said, smiling at Paulie. "I'm done hiding, P. And I'm done lying."

"To others, or to yourself?" Paulie asked, holding Tori's gaze.

The question stung, but Tori knew she deserved to hear it. Paulie was brutally honest, but Tori knew she wasn't saying that as retaliation. "To both," Tori answered. Just saying it felt good, like it gave her new resolve. But that resolve was still new and fragile, and Tori hoped she could stand fast in the face of the inevitable criticism and attacks that would come. "But I'm still scared, P."

Paulie used her right hand to take Tori's left and held it tightly. "It's okay to be scared, Tor. What's not okay is letting being scared stop you from following your heart."

Tori felt tears starting to form at the edges of her eyes as she looked into Paulie's amazingly expressive dark eyes. "That's what I've got you for, P. You're my courage."

Paulie smiled. "Damn right I am."

A knock at the door was quickly followed by the entrance of one of the nurses. "Oh good, you're awake, Pauline," she said.

Paulie laughed. "It's Paulie, please," she said with just a touch of sarcasm. "I hate Pauline."

The nurse efficiently checked Paulie's casts, then the pulses in her right foot and left hand. That was followed by taking her temperature with an ear thermometer, then measuring her blood pressure in her right arm. "You have some visitors today," she said pleasantly.

"Sounds good," Paulie said, her carefree attitude starting to return now that the most important part of her world was back beside her. "Hey, when can I get out of this place?" she asked. "I mean, you get me a wheelchair and some crutches and I'll get myself out the door."

"Paulie," Tori said warily. "You're going to take the time to heal first."

Not missing a beat, Paulie said, "Well, I'll heal a lot faster in my own bed." She gave Tori a naughty look and added, "Or in someone else's."

"How are you planning on getting up the stairs, Paulie, seriously? We live on the third floor!"

"I'll let you and Mary Brave help me up and down the first few days, then I should be able to do it myself. I'll just stay on the ground floor the whole school day, then go back up to the room when classes are done." Seeing the nurse easing toward the door, Paulie quickly said in a loud voice, "Hey, can you find out what we have to do to get me out of here today? I mean it, I want to go home. I can keep my leg propped up there just like I can here."

"Well, I'll have the doctor come by and look at your chest tube. But it doesn't look like it's drained anymore overnight."

"Does that mean it can come out?" asked Paulie expectantly. "Because I feel okay."

"You feel okay because they've been giving you something for pain," said Tori.

Paulie gave her girlfriend a look. "And why can't they give me something to take home for a few days in case I need it?"

"God, you are stubborn!" said Tori, throwing up her hands in light frustration.

Paulie grinned as she said, "You still love me, though, right?"

Tori knew this was a test, whether Paulie intended it as one or not—and she didn't think Paulie would do that to her. But it was still a test, if only a self-imposed one. She could feel the heat rush to her face, but she managed to quietly say, "Yes, I love you, P. Now shut up until the doctor gets here, or they'll keep you for another week."

Paulie laughed, and the simple sound of her happy laugh made Tori's heart jump with glee, despite the terrible events of the past weeks. "I knew you still loved me," she said as she looked into Tori's eyes, and now her own eyes grew serious. "Even if I am pretty fucked up."

"Why would you say that, Paulie?" Tori asked politely, even though both of them were quite aware of yesterday's events even now. _Would she do it again if we ever broke up in the future?_ Tori was ashamed of even thinking such a thing, but it _was_ a valid concern; Paulie's actions yesterday had made quite clear just how real a possibility that was.

Paulie's voice was haunted as she said, "Because when I realized that without you I had nothing to live for, I tried to kill myself. I tried to tell myself that it wouldn't hurt you, that it would make it easier for you to go on with your live with that asshole Jake, but I still knew that it would hurt you deeply. Maybe permanently. And I still did it, because I couldn't even think of living without you by my side." Tears were forming in her eyes, a very rare occurrence for Pauline Oster. "If that's not fucked up, trying to kill myself knowing that it would emotionally scar the one person I loved more than anything else, then what the hell is?"

Tori shook her head. "Paulie, I was the one who was fucked up. I wasn't thinking, because I was so scared about what my parents would do when they found out about us. You tried everything, baby, and I mean _everything_, to get my mind straight. I was in denial so bad that it took seeing you nearly die for me to realize that having you in my life is..." She wiped her eyes and nose before she finished by saying, "Having you in my life is more important than having my parents, or my sister, or my brother in it. None of them fucking _know_ me, P, not like you do! You do things for me because you love me, not because you think I need to be fixed or improved." The way she spat out "fixed" and "improved" left no doubt as to how she felt about her parents trying to micromanage her life.

Another knock at the door sounded. "Come in," said both Tori and Paulie at the same time. Fay Vaughn slowly walked around the corner, her ever-present smile still in place.

"Good morning, girls," said the headmistress of Perkins School. "Do you feel like answering a few questions for someone, Paulie?"

Paulie shrugged her shoulders, being careful not to move her left arm too much. "Not like I can get up and walk out," she said noncommittally.

Ms. Vaughn motioned for someone to enter the room. A tall man came around the corner, in his early fifties by appearance. Ms. Vaughn said, "This is Assistant District Attorney George Burkholt, ladies. Mr. Burkholt, this is Victoria Moller," she said as she held out her open hand to indicate Tori, "and Pauline Oster, the young lady you came to speak with."

Tori politely said, "Hi," but Paulie simply glared at the man.

"Let me guess," Paulie said sharply, "you're here to arrest me. Great." She lifted her left arm, the nauseatingly bright pink cast in stark contrast to the black-and-white look of the hospital room. "Good luck getting the cuffs on over this damn thing."

Tori looked at her girlfriend, startled. "Why would he be here to arrest you?" she asked. "What did you do?"

Before Paulie could answer, the man spoke with a voice kinder than either girl was expecting. "Ms. Oster, you've been accused of assaulting one Jake Hollander with a deadly weapon. Would you like to explain what happened yesterday between the two of you?"

Tori felt tears come to her eyes as she looked again at Paulie. _Please don't say you killed him. Not now, not since I've pushed the fears aside to be with you._ "What happened, P?" she said softly, dreading the forthcoming answer.

"I didn't kill him," Paulie said defiantly to the Assistant District Attorney. "Which I had the right to do, too. It was a duel to the death." She looked at Tori. "I won you, Tori," she said proudly. "I challenged that dick to a fair fight, and I won."

"Duels to the death are looked down on in this state, Ms. Oster," said Burkholt.

"Which is why I didn't kill him, Mr. Burkholt," Paulie said firmly. "I decided to stop after drawing first blood."

Burkholt looked at a notebook he had opened. "Which you did by stabbing him in the right leg, correct?"

"I picked a spot without any major blood vessels," Paulie said, "and I made sure to just go deep enough for it to bleed. I _do_ have control over my blade." Paulie sat up straighter in her bed as best as she could with her right leg pinned down. "It was a fair challenge!" she added hotly. "Nobody made him show up! And I put that it was a duel to the death on the note I sent to him. He knew what he was getting into the entire time, and he showed up with his buddies, took the sword, and fought me in a fair fight. So if you want to call that assault, then you sure as hell better charge him with the same fucking thing!"

"Watch your language, young lady," said Burkholt, and Tori silently chastised her girlfriend by giving her a reprimanding glare.

"It was a fair fight," Paulie repeated, this time with a more restrained voice.

"And what was this fight over?" asked Burkholt.

Paulie reached over and took Tori's hand. She felt her girlfriend tremble, but Tori didn't try to pull her hand away like she would have just a day ago. "It was over Victoria here," Paulie said proudly. "I challenged him for the right to court her, like a gentleman would have done." She closed her eyes as the proud memory gave way to a shameful one. "Then I panicked," she said quietly. "I thought that once Tori found out, that there was no way she'd forgive me. I was afraid that it would only make her run to Jake even more."

For the second time today and only the third time ever, Tori saw Paulie start to cry. For Fay Vaughn, she had _never_ seen the tough, rebellious young woman cry, so it was even more shocking.

"I decided that if I really loved Tori, that I needed to let her go," Paulie said, ignoring the tears slowly running down her cheeks.

"Like the bird," Tori whispered, slowly understanding the symbolism. "Oh, P..."

"And once she was gone to be with Jake, then I had nothing left," Paulie continued. "I have no real family. I'll never love anyone like I love Tori, not ever. And even the whore who gave birth to me doesn't want to have anything to do with me." Paulie's eyes were red from crying, but her voice wavered only slightly. "Why the fuck _should_ I have stayed?" she finished, burying her face in Tori's shoulder.

"Paulie, I'm so, so sorry," Tori whispered into her girlfriend's ear. "I was so stupid, and so afraid, and I hurt you so badly that I don't know if I can ever forgive myself."

"Yes you can!" said Paulie, her head jerking up so suddenly that she nearly cracked Tori's nose. "You _will_ forgive yourself, Victoria Moller, you hear me? You didn't make me get up on that roof. I did it to show you that I was letting you go, to fly free like the raptor. And I was going to free myself from this sty of a world, this shithole that we live in, where there was nothing left worth me taking another breath for."

There was a silence that fell over the room. Even the soft sobs of Paulie and Tori seemed to be swallowed up by the large hospital room. Finally Fay spoke.

"I think that these two young ladies have been through enough, George, don't you?" she said, turning to look the man standing beside her. "And I believe that they will have more than enough to deal with in the next few months and years to come as well."

George Burkholt looked at the two young women who had turned to look directly at him. While both of them had been crying, neither of them seemed afraid. As the father of two daughters in their twenties, he felt a sense of paternal respect as he regarded the two of them, at such a trying time in their lives but filled with a new sense of purpose and determination. He closed his notebook and put it back inside his coat pocket.

"My daughters both went to Perkins," he said as he slowly walked to the window, looking outside at the trees blowing in the light breeze. "So I have some idea of what the two of you have gone through." He turned to look at both of them, holding their gaze without trying to be challenging or intimidating. He was fairly sure that Pauline Oster couldn't be intimidated anyway, even if he had tried. "Ms. Oster, your story about the duel matches what I've already heard from one Mary Bedford. The two young men with Jake Hollander also confirmed the details about him accepting the challenge, and I even have the actual note itself as evidence." He walked over to the side of the bed, stopping at Paulie's cast right leg. "While the state doesn't look favorably upon duels to the death, it is a bit more lenient regarding other fair challenges. It also works in your favor that you changed the conditions to something less permanent than killing him. Otherwise I'd be hauling your rear to jail as soon as the hospital released you." He finally allowed himself to smile. "But as it stands, I have to conclude that you issued a challenge to Mr. Hollander for a fair fight, which he freely accepted knowing the terms. Witnesses confirm that the duel was fair, if one-sided, and that upon your victory, you chose to spare his life. Because of this, the state will not be pursuing charges against you." He extended his hand, and after a slight pause, Paulie shook it carefully but firmly. "Ms. Oster, I think you're more of a gentleman than most men I've met in my life. And I mean that as a compliment."

"Thank you," Paulie said honestly, her voice raw now. "I'd do anything for her," she added, jerking her head toward Tori.

Burkholt leaned down and said with a more gentle voice, "Then stop falling off rooftops. And take care of your girlfriend."

Paulie nodded, letting a slight smile cross her lips. "I will. To both."

Burkholt released Paulie's hand and smiled at Tori. "Ms. Moller," he said as he nodded to her, then he turned around and walked over to Fay. "I'll keep this out of the papers, Fay," he said pleasantly. "I wouldn't worry about this going any further. I doubt Mr. Hollander wants his entire school to know the details of him getting beaten in a fair fight by one of your students."

Fay smiled. "I suspect you're right, George. Thank you again."

"You're welcome, Fay. Just doing my job." Burkholt turned and walked out of the room.

After a minute for everyone to regain their emotional footing, Tori stood and placed a kiss on Paulie's forehead. "I need to make a phone call," she said. "Be right back."

"Not going anywhere," Paulie said smugly, making Tori smile.

As Tori passed Fay, she reached out and gingerly touched the frail-looking older woman. "Thank you for being here. Not just today, but all the days that you've been there for her."

As Tori watched Fay's face, the older woman seemed to stand a bit taller, as if some hidden source of strength was flowing into her. "I told Paulie that I understood what she was going through," Fay said softly, "and I do. I too had to make a choice once, a choice that hurt two people very badly. So badly that it took both of us many years and much sorrow to move past it." She reached out and lightly patted Tori's arm. "Only rarely do we get second chances, Victoria," she said. "Make the most of yours."

As Tori looked into the headmistress's eyes, she felt a deeper understanding of the enigmatic woman that everyone at the school knew but almost no one knew well. And beyond that understanding, she felt a sense of kinship with Fay Vaughn now, and both she and Paulie would treasure that kinship for the rest of their lives. "Thank you," Tori said softly, giving Fay a smile as she stepped out of the room and into the hall.

She walked down the hall until she found a sitting room that was empty. She walked in and closed the door behind her, dialing on her cell phone as she did so. As she heard someone answer, she gritted her teeth.

"_Hello?"_

"Alli," Tori said, her voice controlled and neutral.

"_Tori! Where are you?"_

"I'm at the hospital, Alli." She braced herself and added, "With Paulie."

"_Why?" _her younger sister shouted into the phone. _"Is she saying she's going to kill herself if you're not there? If she is, you should just let her—"_

"ALLI!" Tori loudly said into the phone. When she heard her sister pause, she said, "No, Alli. I'm here because..." _Don't pause. Don't hesitate._ "I'm here because I love her, Allison. I've loved her for several years."

After a pause, her sister's hurt voice said, _"Why, Tori? HOW? How could you do this?"_

"Because she loves me, Alli. She loves me like no one else ever has, or ever will. And I love her the same way."

"_It's not right, Tori. Do you have any idea what Mom and Dad will—"_

"Yes," Tori said, fighting back tears. "I have a very good idea, Allison. So that's why I'm asking you to do something for me."

"_I-I'm not going to lie to them about this, Tori. I'm sorry, but I won't."_

"I'm not asking you to, Alli. All I'm asking is for you to let me be the one to tell them. They deserve that. I deserve that." When no reply came, Tori said, "Do you hear me, Alli?"

"_...I hear you, Tori,"_ said Allison, her voice sad, almost mournful. _"When are you going to tell them?"_

"Graduation," Tori said. She had thought about this all night, and it was the best plan. "If they find out about it before then, they'll freak out and try to pull me out of Perkins. All we have left is two months, Alli. If they ask you about us before then, you say that I told you to stay out of it. That way they won't get mad at you when they find out. Okay?"

After a long pause, Allison said, _"Okay. I can do that for you."_

"Thank you," Tori said. "And I love you, little sis."

"_Goodbye, Tori."_

The click of the disconnection hit Tori squarely in her heart, but this time there were no tears. Tori had nothing to cry about. If her sister ever came to accept that Tori was still the same big sister who had loved and looked out for her throughout her entire life, then maybe they could rebuild their relationship once again. But that was Alli's choice, just like it was Tori's choice to not be ashamed of who she was any more. To not be ashamed of who she loved, or how she chose to live her life.

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

"I don't know what I'm going to do without the two of you," said Mary as she looked around the room that she had shared with Paulie and Tori for the last year. Boxes were stacked in one corner of the room, with only the bedding and their toiletries left to pack as Tori and Paulie stuffed their graduation robes into an open box. Graduation had just finished, and now the time had come for them to leave the room that had been their home for the last four years.

"We're going to miss you, Mary," Tori said as she hugged her old roommate. "But Brown isn't that far away."

"Yeah, you can come visit us whenever things get too boring around here," Paulie added with her trademark confident grin. She looked more like herself now, since she was out of both of her casts and walking on her own without a limp. Under her doctor's orders she continued to limit herself to walking rather than running for now, but she was already chafing at the bit to resume her full activity level.

Mary looked directly into her friends' eyes as she said, "I'm just glad that you two got into the same school."

"We're a package deal," Paulie replied, putting her arm around her girlfriend. "We told that to every school we interviewed at."

"But we both liked Brown," added Tori. "And they were cool about letting us room together."

Mary smiled. "What are you going to do now that you're not going to have a new girl to shock and scandalize?" she asked teasingly.

Paulie quickly replied, "Oh, we'll just call you on the speaker phone when we're having sex. That way you'll be able to sleep."

Mary blushed furiously at that statement, but it was true. Listening to her roommates quietly make love at night was now comforting to her, like the sound of the ocean's waves would be to someone who grew up on the beach. Rather than try and pursue a teasing contest that she wouldn't win, Mary instead stepped forward and hugged Tori and Paulie, wrapping her arms around both of them. "Take care of each other, okay?" she said, blinking back tears. "I'm not going to be there to clean up your messes. And for God's sake, always, and I mean _always,_ remember that you love each other."

"We will," Tori said softly. "We promise."

"As if I could ever forget," Paulie said as she kissed Tori on the cheek. "She's my muse, my purpose."

"And you're my protector, P," Tori added.

"Victoria?" called out a female voice from the stairwell below.

"Mom?" Tori said, surprised that her parents had gotten over here so quickly. She started to walk to the door but Paulie stopped her in her tracks by not releasing her hand.

"Remember, Tori, this is our home for a few more minutes," she said softly. "And we're never going to be made uncomfortable or belittled in our own home."

Mary stepped forward and rubbed the small of Tori's back. "I'm staying here, just in case you need backup," she said.

Paulie turned to look at her friend, and now those dark eyes had a sharp, piercing quality that Mary recognized. The raptor. "We won't need any backup," Paulie said firmly. "But we would be honored to have Mary Brave stand at our side." She reached out with her free hand and grasped Mary's left hand. "You're our friend, and this is your home too. Even after we're gone."

"How on earth do you climb those steps every day, Victoria?" said her out-of-breath mother, gasping as she stepped into the room. It looked positively cavernous to the three girls used to it being full of their personal items, with one half of the room empty except for the boxes and the two small beds fitted together to make one queen-sized bed, but to Tori's mother it looked confining.

"It makes me stay in shape, Mother," Tori said, polite but on guard. "Plus we run every day. Well, we've been walking for the last few weeks, until Paulie's doctor says she can start running again."

"What happened to your leg, Pauline?" asked Tori's father as he stepped into the room. He still didn't like his daughter's roommate, particularly after her odd behavior at the dance two months ago.

"I broke it," Paulie said flatly, not offering further details.

"I still wish you'd let us help you girls with your packing and moving," continued her father. "I think you're taking this independence concept too far." He gave Tori a smile to try and soften his tone.

"Men are there to do the heavy lifting in your life, dear," added her mother. "You should remember that. Once you find one, that is."

"That's what Paulie is for, Mother," Tori said, more than a touch of defiance in her voice. "Plus I can do my own heavy lifting when I need to."

There was no immediate reply from either parent. Tori turned to look at her mother, who was intently gazing at the queen-sized bed against the wall, covers turned down from where they hadn't made their bed this morning.

"Victoria, why are there only two beds in this room?" her mother asked carefully.

Tori squeezed Paulie's hand for support, and Paulie squeezed back. Tori turned to look at her girlfriend, who silently mouthed, _I love you_, to her. She turned back to her mother, who had an unreadable expression on her face. "Because Paulie and I sleep together, Mother."

"Don't you think you two are a little old for that sort of thing, Victoria?" her mother said disapprovingly. "I mean, think of the rumors that might get started!"

If the situation weren't entirely serious, Tori might have laughed. But her face was resolute as she replied, "The rumors would be true, Mother. Paulie and I are in love."

"What?" said her father harshly. "How dare you!" he said, turning to Paulie. He angrily took two steps forward, but Paulie didn't flinch as he approached. _"What have you done to my daughter?"_ he bellowed.

Whatever reaction he had been expecting, Paulie didn't give it to him. Instead she calmly said, "I've shown her what love is." She continued to hold Tori's hand as she took a step forward, drawing herself up as tall as she could but still several inches shorter than Tori's father. "Something so powerful that I'd give my life for it. For her. To protect her from people who say they love her while tearing her apart with thinly disguised criticisms and polite insults that she doesn't deserve. People like the two of you."

Tori's father drew back his hand to smack Paulie across her face, but the young woman standing in front of him refused to move or break eye contact with him, instead just continuing to glare into his angry gaze.

"Daddy, no!" Tori shouted before he could strike Paulie. "If you hit her, I swear I'll never talk to either of you ever again!"

"Victoria!" said her mother. "How dare you speak to your father that way?"

"How dare _you_, Mother, how dare _you_ to speak to me the way you have for my _whole life?_" Tori replied angrily. "To make fun of my teeth, of my face, of my hair, of my body, usually in front of those shallow bitches you call friends? You call yourself a mother? You've never acted like one to me. You just dumped me here in this school to let them raise me since I was seven, and all the time I wanted to have your love and acceptance I just got it thrown back in my face how I came up short of everything you wanted me to be!" She whirled to face her father, his hand still drawn back over his shoulder. "And you, _Daddy_," she said, acid dripping from her words. "You were always too busy bragging about your son or fawning over precious little Alli to ever remember me."

"Is that what this is about?" her father said, lowering his hand. "You're mad at us because we didn't give you enough attention, so you're punishing us by becoming a lesbian?"

Tori shook her head and Paulie laughed loudly. "You _so_ don't get it," Paulie said, shaking her head as well. "Let me put it in single-syllable words for you, okay? I. Love. Her. She. Loves. Me." She turned to look at Tori, and she smiled at the love that Tori reflected back at her as they looked at each other. She turned back to look at Tori's father. "This isn't about being lesbian, or being straight or gay or bisexual. This is about being _in love_. Love knows no boundaries. Love knows no names. It simply IS. And that's all it has to be."

"I love you, P," Tori said tenderly, a single tear escaping from her left eye and running down her cheek. Paulie quickly caught it with her index finger, carefully wiping it away.

"I love you, Victoria," Paulie said. "And I can't think of a better time to ask you this." She reached into the pocket of her slacks as she dropped to one knee. She looked up at the woman she loved and asked, "Victoria Elizabeth Moller, will you marry me?" She offered the diamond ring up to Tori, who suddenly had tears burst forth.

"Yes!" she said as she took the ring, hand shaking as she offered her other hand to Paulie, pulling her up as she stood. Both of them were grinning as Tori threw back her head and happily shouted, "Yes, yes, _yes!_ I'll marry you!" Paulie wrapped her arms around Tori and hugged her tightly as Tori did the same, sliding the engagement ring onto the ring finger of her left hand as they held each other in the middle of their home for the last four years of their lives. For once, Tori's parents were too stunned to say anything. Even Alli, who was standing outside the door to the room listening, was too shocked to speak.

Mary stepped forward and put her hands on Tori's and Paulie's shoulders. "I don't think I can be Mary Brave anymore," she said. "Because the two of you just took that title away from me." She smiled. "You're the brave ones, and I'm proud of you both. Be good to each other, and remember to invite me to the wedding."

"You're going to be the Maid of Honor, you dope!" Paulie said happily. "Of course you're invited!" Her face became more serious, then she said, "And you'll always be Mary Brave, even when life makes you wonder if you're really brave at all. _That's_ when you need to remember it most."

Mary smiled kindly at the young woman who had never failed to surprise her, who had helped her find the courage in herself when everyone else had made fun of her. "I'll remember," she said solemnly.

Paulie turned to look again at the woman she loved, and in those glistening eyes she saw more than just a lover, more than just a friend or a confidant. She saw her future. And no matter what else that future would bring with it, she knew that she belonged with Tori, and that Tori belonged with her. "I will always love you, Tori," Paulie whispered against her girlfriend's lips as they leaned in closely.

"I'll always love you too, P," Tori whispered in reply as everything around them faded away, leaving only the two of them in each other's arms.

**Author's Afterword:** One more chapter yet to come in this story. Sorry it took so long to get an update, but I take my time until the story is right. Hope everyone enjoyed this one!

-- Jo --


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